Old Spice Man Fields Questions from the Internet: Here are His Answers

The Old Spice Man (“I’m on a horse”) is fielding questions from Internet users on Reddit today. Here are his answers.

1. Squidboots: If you were alone in the woods, and no one were around to smell you, would you smell as manly and awesome?

2. Chmown: How can I smell like fighting and space shuttles?

3. Porknog: Dear Old Spice Man, How many times should I lather, rinse, and repeat? My wife says I’m going to get a rash if I keep this up.

4. Desimusxvii: Is it true you tore the wings off Pegasus and ate them buffalo style to achieve the manliness you exhibit today?

If yes, please recount your battle with the beast. If no, please do this immediately.

5. Robotjox: If you could meet one great historical figure, then arm wrestle them while signing opera, who would it be?